Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Dear Climb On!,

I'd like to place an order for 60 gallons of lotion, so I can fill a bathtub with it and hibernate there for a week or so. 

Thanks,

Galina

Lotion Bar
$10.25


Behold, the ultra-classic, all-healing lotion bar. If you've been around the climbing block, chances are you've heard of The Bar. Back at Joe's Valley, a single bar was passed around the campfire every night (apologies to whoever it belonged to!) Some nights, climbers would tear apart the entire campsite, in search of The Bar (likewise, they would turn into werewolves during full moons without their Climb On! antidote). Point is, without the lotion bar, our hands wouldn't have lasted half as long as they did. Bless the person who was smart enough to actually bring one (but dumb enough to leave it out on the table).






Creme
$14.50


I used to think the lotion bar was one of the greatest inventions of all-time, up there with pajama jeans and sliced bread. Until I tried the hand creme. Which is basically the same product, but in lotion form. Which, according to a very long and very complicated mathematical equation, translates to a product approximately 2.373 times better than the original (as you can clearly see in the picture, where the container of creme is actually emitting a slight radiation). Not only is the creme easier to apply, but it is just as rich and stays on just as long as the lotion bar (Warning: do not apply within two hours of climbing). Personally, I like to slather it on my hands before I go to bed every night, so as to wake up to beautiful tips in the morning. And no, using creme does NOT disintegrate calluses formed by hours of labor-intensive climbing.

Bar for Men
$10.25
★★★

To be perfectly honest, I can't tell the difference between the normal lotion bar and this classy men's version. So I left it up to my friend Mike to do the reviewing:

"My hands and fingers get put through some tough situations. I rock climb three or four days per week and my job requires me to wear gloves. I have been using the Climb On! bar every night and in the morning and have noticed a huge difference in my finger tips. They are smooth yet still retain the toughness needed for climbing and they feel better the day after I climb. The bar also has a very pleasantly rugged aroma that I did not expect!"




Lip Tube
$3.75


Despite my (very mild and very harmless) obsession with the lotion bar and creme, this lip tube is actually the reason why I love Climb On! so much. Correction: this lip tube is the reason my entire family (with the exception of my dad, who would never admit to using chapstick) loves Climb On! so much. Unlike other chapsticks, you don't have to reapply the lip tube every half hour and buy a new chapstick every week. Tad of lip tube in the morning, tad at night, maybe a little touch-up after lunch, and you're good. Yes, $4 is a lot for chapstick. But think of it as an investment. An investment in better lips, fewer trips to Walmart, and harder sending (at least according to another extremely complex and difficult-to-understand mathematical equation, the source of which may or may not be reliable).

4 comments:

  1. Hi Galnina, We are proud to support you in your endeavors! Your review was entertaining and informative. Climb On!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, psyched to be part of the team!

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    2. sweet review! i actually just did one myself.
      climb on is god send for a climbers skin
      http://theadventofadventure.blogspot.com/2013/04/review-climbon-bar-1oz.html

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  2. Yup Climb on-bar is a must. I always buy lot's of it in stash.

    ReplyDelete